It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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