Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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