What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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