Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize