did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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