Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
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The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
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Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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