Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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