you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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