tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize