she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
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She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
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Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
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