Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
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I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
NoShamevember. You game?
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Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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