the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
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I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
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Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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