I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It's rum buckets o'clock
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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