That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
that may or may not have been my penis.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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