suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
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im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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