Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
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Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
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I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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