is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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