the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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