he shaved USA in his pubs
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
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I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
there is glitter all over my balls
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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