I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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