I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize