her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize