just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
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Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
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I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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