drinking out of a sandbucket again
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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