The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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