i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
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I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
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In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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