you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
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Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
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I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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