Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize