i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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