so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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