dude i'm inner monologue high
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The adults are the big ones right?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize