wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize