i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize