And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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