So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
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my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
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I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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