I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize