I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My feet surprised me
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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