you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize