im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
not ubering you a puppy
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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