Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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