My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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