You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
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had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
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I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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