I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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