It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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