I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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