you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
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The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
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I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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