just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
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Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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