I'm really into asian looking animals
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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