I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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