i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
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Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
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Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
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